Slivers

By Cynthia-Roses


Sometimes Average Isn't so Average


A pleasant spring morning. Nothing seemed too different about it from yesterday morning, but somehow it was special in itself. It was a day in itself, and seemed to bring comfort to those who had been burdened the previous days; a sort of healing for those who needed to close up their wounds from the days before. Perhaps those wounds though weren't wounds at all; maybe they're just a lack of true calling. A feeling of something missing from one's life.

Ryan knew that feeling all too well. As if life had halted and never truly progressed any further. Not so much as to make one hate life, but enough to feel it cursed you with it's monotony. Ryan's problem though was he didn't know what life had to offer. He didn't really know what he wanted, and was still searching for whatever he was supposed to be looking for. Unsure if the search would bear any fruit, or if there even was something he should be finding, he would wander time and time again into the empty void within his heart that could never truly be filled.

Perhaps sometimes there really wasn't much to go on, and you just had to get through as easy as possible. It sure seemed easier that way for sure.

Ryan didn't hate life though, quite the opposite. He cherished not only his own life, but the life of those around him. Ryan could think of nothing more precious than simply existing in this world we all called home. His problem en-lied in a lack of direction; a confusion towards what to do. He had often found himself against such dilemmas.

Fifteen of age, and a transfer to his current school, he was always the shyest person he had known. His shy personality fit his appearance. Baring the same amber eyes his mother had, and silky light brown hair that both him and his mother shared. His hair had been left to grow to an effeminate length, which complimented his soft looking face and light features. He was identifiable as male, but could easily convince otherwise if a little effort was put forth. Stereotypically, he fit the category of a “pretty boy,” not by choice, but by nature.

Easily intimidated, and a failure at mustering his courage, Ryan was easy to give in and avoided confrontation. It was in his subconscious to simply let things go and avoid conflict. For this reason he didn't have a vast social life. For that matter, he had very few friends, and none he could call close friends.

In his life, Ryan had never had any friends over, and never went to any friend's homes. Socially he was a failure.

Although a social reject, don't think for a moment that means he is a bad person or depressing to be around. Rarely would you find him complain and never would you find him rude or distasteful. Ryan was actually a rather approachable person.

“Hey kid, throw us the ball!” The voice of an older student yelled to the tired and eager to leave Ryan.

Ryan hurled the football that the upperclassman had wanted so badly, but not badly enough to go and get himself. His toss was weak as he wasn't exactly the star of gym class. Not too weak though, closer to average than terrible.

The other teenager caught the ball with much force and waved to acknowledge his thanks to Ryan. Ryan didn't return the gesture, instead he held his bag tightly and walked home as isolate as ever.

The thing about Ryan is he was never too eager to meet anyone, and was insecure about himself. He never trusted anyone to accept him the way he was, or to think he was worth hanging around or associating with. Having no real hobbies to speak of, and no true interests that he felt like sharing, he would never have anything to converse about with someone.

Feeling as though he'd come off as either weird, or boring to anyone he attempted to speak to, he avoided the situation whenever possible.

The walk home was pleasant and the spring weather had been in favor of the young boy walking towards his house about two miles from the school. He rarely rode the bus these days, even if it was raining. When the rain came down from the sky, Ryan would just bring an umbrella that day. Nothing stopped him from his walk.

Coming to a stop Ryan smiled and gazed up the site he had stopped to see every day when spring came around since he moved here last year.

The house he had stopped to gaze at had flowers covering almost every bit of the grass, making it impossible to see almost any green on the lawn. Instead a flood of pinks and yellows covered the ground and climbed up the delicate fence with vines clinging to it holding it's flowers as close to the top as possible. Flowers that sat atop of the fence always seemed to be reaching for the sky and calling out to the sun.

Never would he pick these flowers though. He didn't want to ruin their beauty.

Realizing he had to keep moving, he allowed his legs to carefully pull him away from the flowers, but not his eyes. His eyes stayed fixated on them for the next two or three steps before they finally turned to face where he was walking. As clumsy as he was, he didn't want to walk into a tree or phone pole like he had before when he wasn't paying mind to where he was heading.

The rest of the walk was uneventful, and Ryan had no thoughts on his mind as he allowed his feet to carry him closer and closer past that two miles to his house. His mind blank and empty, as if he could think of nothing to discuss with himself. This was quite common with his daily routine, as he rarely did enough to be worth mentioning even to himself.

It was a pleasant walk though; peaceful and relaxed. The town was peaceful like the walk a majority of the time.

Taking the turn around the final bend, he made it to his home that sat 1 house from the corner on the left side of the street. Blue and fair looking, it wasn't anything special, but not anything to be ashamed of either. The front yard had no shrubbery, but a tall oak over shadowed the whole yard. One identical to the first rested in the back yard which was fenced in with a tall seven foot fence. Both yards were blanketed in the shadows of the trees. Out back there was a simple swing set close to the back which had been there since the purchase of the house. Ryan would often times come home and just sit on the swing. Never swing on it, just sitting and thinking to himself. About ten or fifteen feet from that swing set was a picnic table that often times Ryan spent eating off of when he didn't feel like going inside.

Stepping inside Ryan set his bag down near the staircase that led up to his room on the second floor, as he headed outside.

He made his way through the kitchen that was just straight ahead when one entered the door to the house. The kitchen had a back door which was the only way to get into the backyard besides the basement, which had a passageway leading to a cellar door in the backyard.

Ryan sat gently on the right swing on the set like he always did when he came to this place.

Letting out a sigh, he allowed himself to be relieved of the boredom and stress of the day, which had been brought upon him from attending school.

It wasn't that school was hard, just boring and demanding in some instances. There were several times when Ryan felt he was just doing work for the sake of doing work, not really for education. That didn't bother him so much though. He saw school as just something he had to do. Not quite a straight A student, and not quite a D student. Ryan was fairly average when it came to grades and about the same could be said with intelligence. He didn't really seek knowledge too much, and it never really just came to him.

A gentle spring breeze blew and softly ran its hand along Ryan's cheeks and letting loose of his face as it died down. It felt cool and pleasant.

That pleasant feeling was one of the things that brought a smile to Ryan's face about spring. Sometimes when the wind was strong enough the breeze would play with Ryan's hair and sway his locks in their direction. The locks would dance across his face and make him giggle a slight bit when he thought about it. Simple things were the ones that brought joy to his life.

“Ryan, are you outside?” Called a caring voice from the kitchen.

Ryan lifted his head enough to make his voice heard, “Yeah, I'm out here.” He answered.

Peeking her head out from the kitchen an elegant young woman looked back towards Ryan. She smiled and made her way outside and planted herself on the swing to the left right next to Ryan.

She was a good bit taller than Ryan, and had brown hair so light it almost qualified as blond without actually being blond. It was just on the edge of being the yellowish color needed to qualify as blond. She had a womanly face which her eyes seemed to always create into a soft expression of kindness and understanding. Her eyes were darker than Ryan's, but held a similar color, only a darker shade. She had a slender figure with the curves of a full grown woman about her. She had a light amount of eyeliner on that only just barely made her sweet looking eyes noticeable.

This girl was wearing a simple white t-shirt with a red line that ran close to the bottom. It wasn't too tight, but just enough to give the outline of her full chest. Along with this shirt she wore a black pleated skirt that came down to her lower thigh, but just shy of touching the top of her knee. The shoes she had were a simple girlish style. Black shoes with a simple strap to hold them onto her legs.

The thing Ryan always noticed the most about this girl was the silver cross that hung just about her breasts that complimented the choker she had always wore as well. That cross had been worn by her since she was baptized at age three. She never took it off for anything that Ryan ever saw in his time of knowing her.

“What's wrong little brother?” Asked she.

It was rare that she referred to Ryan as her little brother, even if that is what he actually was. She seemed more motherly than anything else, even though she still give off that older sister vibe.

Ryan made eye contact with only the grass below his dangling feet while speaking, “I don't know really. I feel just... So... Empty sometimes...”

His elder sister placed her hand upon his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. She had such delicate hands, those of a holy woman almost.

“We've been through a lot in the past year. I know it's hard, and I know you're struggling. I am too Ryan; nothing is easy. We're going to be just fine, I promise. That's why we moved here, so we could start over.” She smiled.

She knew a new start was what the two needed. Ryan was always depressed when they lived in the city, and it was no doubt because of the way that the kids in the city school treated him. Cities in general only reminded him of how insignificant he was. That's why they had moved out into the easier country, to let Ryan have an easier school life. It wasn't a complete success but at least he wasn't being bullied nearly as much as he was back in the city.

“Ryan, you're a special person. I can see that easily. I won't let anything happen to you, that much I promise.” She assured.

“You say that a lot Angelina...” Ryan sighed.

Angelina got off of her swing and knelt in front of Ryan. She came to eye level with him as if to better his attention.

She spoke softly, “Ryan, I only say it because it's true. I'm your sister and I will protect you no matter what. 'Love thy brother', do you remember?”

Ryan nodded in understanding.

“God has a purpose for you Ryan, I can tell. He loves you as much as I do. I know it's hard to see right now, and I know this has been difficult for both of us, but through faith there is triumph.” Angelina's face lit up with passion.

Ryan listened intently.

“It's always darkest before dawn.” Angelina said.

Ryan came off the swing and allowed her to embrace him in a motherly comforting hug. Her warmth only reinforced that protected feeling he obtained from her. Ryan couldn't have asked for a better sister. Angelina knew just how to say things so that they had meaning to Ryan, and make him smile even just a little bit. She was a wonderful woman and quite intelligent.

“Let's go back inside okay? I'll get you something to eat and we'll go do something together after alright?” Angelina smiled to Ryan.

Ryan nodded. Angelina truly was a motherly sister.